"I'm not sober, I’m sober curious."

We are so caught up with defining everything and everyone. All things have labels and columns that fit into organized files and spreadsheets by categorized by name, sex, age, sexual orientation, class, blah blah blah. What about the people and things that do not make the standard and fail the definition? The outliers. Defining and labeling can bring us as together as much as it can separate and isolate us. We see evidence of this both between and within the drinking and non drinking communities. 

“I'm not drinking”. 

“What's wrong?” 

“Are you sober now?” 


“Why then?” 

Why am I suddenly ‘sober’ because alcohol isn’t for me right now? If I explain that to you and decide later to have a vodka soda, all of a sudden I’m a hypocrite? I didn’t sign up for this ‘all-or-nothing’ mentality. 

“So wait, you don’t drink or smoke? I better steer clear of you tonight, I don't feel like being judged.”

The idea that sobriety is associated with the inability to loosen up and instantly assuming the position of judge, jury and executioner for all persons who do partake in the spirits is exhausting. When did that become a thing? 

Some people thrive in boxes, and this is not a bad thing. If you like labels, there are plenty of labels for the taking. If you don’t like labels, if it’s not all-or-nothing for you. If you are fluid, that is OK too.

Ferm Fatale’s founding principle is Oneness consciousness and that means Inclusivity and love for all, no matter where you on on your journey. We are here to progress not reach perfection and advocate for self love even when you haven’t lost the weight or reached some pinnacle of your ultimate destination when you will finally be happy. Comparison, competition, and judgment are results of ’Separation mentality.’ This is a low vibrational pattern of lack of awareness of Self.

Are you trying to fit into a pretentious ‘box’ or ’tribe’ that strives for perfection? Or are you aligning with people that value connection, community, and unconditional love and support as you become more of who you are? Look around. You are unique. We celebrate you for your ‘different-ness’.. It is what makes you sexy. 

“I wasn’t made to fit in your box”

Julie Cielo

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