Summer of Shine: 5 Ways Society Tries to Keep You in The Dark & How to See Through It and Be the Light

Summer of Shine: 5 Ways Society Tries to Keep You in The Dark & How to See Through It and Be the Light - Ferm Fatale

Welcome to Gemini Season…the season of Light, maturity, growth, and action. In the Western astrology calendar, I am a triple Gemini, which means my sun, moon, and ascendent all fall under the sign of the Twins, ruled by the planet Mercury—the grande Communicator. Coming onto the planet with this configuration with zero earth and water in my chart means I have been challenged to find ways to nourish and nurture myself because the traditional constructs of support were not available…not just in family but also in society. The older I get, the more I see how society’s beliefs do not support my taking care of myself. Society generally wants us to fit in, follow the status quo, and be a rule follower…all in an attempt to control us as capitalistic conformists. It is each of our personal responsibility not to feed into the dark but applaud ourselves and others that are choosing to stand for diversity and self care, ie; the Light.


Here are 5 Lies used to try to dim your Light:


    1. Pressuring you to drink alcohol if you don’t. You can have just one drink. Come on, when did you become so boring? Dammit! You doing what is right for you makes me feel bad about myself and question my own behavior…How dare you have personal sovereignty! Maybe if I shame you I can manipulate you. Umm, get new friends that either never drank the ‘cool-aid’ or also decided to put down the cancer juice and take their life back. Bye depression, hello feeling feelings! Hello to hanging out with folks that value presence, authenticity and don’t always need a substance to connect and have fun. Alcohol is so 2019.

  1. Blaming the victim. This can start young. One child in the family points out truth and is immediately made into the family scapegoat in order to turn the attention away from reality in order to manipulate the situation. If you don’t know what some of these words mean and you believe in personal autonomy and are interested in personal growth, I encourage you to look them up. #tonepolicing #gaslighting #scapegoating #narcissism #personalitydisorder #codependency

Later in relationship one might ignore their partners feelings and blame them for eventually becoming angry or leaving. Often times the person who exhibits anger is the one that gets blamed while the quiet manipulating pacifist is sided with. This can mean being judged for coming from a broken home—-Like it was ever the kid’s fault. I was actually blamed by my biological father for not being in his life when I lived right down the road my whole upbringing! I would argue kids that only saw perfection are the ones without a realistic view of the world and perhaps not as adaptive to adulting, so let’s stop with all the judging and find some empathy for one another.

3. Going to college and getting a degree is the ‘end all-be all’ formula for success. This is a load of bull. I dropped out of college in my last semester and within 2 years was making twice as much as friends who dedicated their life to following the rules. Within 10 years I could have paid off their lifetime of education debt in cash. Now keep in mind, I left home with $800 in my pocket, moved 13x in 14 years and never had support from ‘family’ to accomplish anything I have done in my life. You can have what you want—-The key is to pick something and go after it! Higher education is awesome, but there are many ways to skin a cat. Trust the process. Respect elders more.

4. If it’s not on social media, it didn’t happen. This might be a younger generational misbelief, but we live in a culture obsessed with technology and it is killing our ability to connect and be in true community. Have you noticed how suicide, depression, divorce etc have all been on the rise the past several years? I blame this on the internet. Let’s all make more of an effort to put down the device and strike up a conversation with a stranger, or better yet your partner. Let’s pick up our heads and start leading with our hearts. That means caring less about what others think of us and standing bright in our uniqueness, allowing others to do the same. Remember; Comparison kills joy.

5. Confidence comes from having more stuff and looking perfect. False! Confidence comes from believing in who you are. True Self Love means you feel good about who you are in the middle of  turmoil, without the hair done, with the excess lbs on, in the midst of a drastic mistake…Sexy is when we have flaws, but you love your imperfections cuz they make YOU unique. You can work for perfection your whole life and miss the journey entirely…for what, a sense of control in an impermanent situation or to be someone else? We live in a society that doesn’t applaud people for being their best enough…especially as women. We get accused of being narcissistic for just shining brightly yet as soon as we stop looking 25 men start making aging a topic of conversation. They are so damn intimidated by our power. Don’t get me going about uterus shaming. My parts, my business. The words of my Nunnie…'Eyes on your own plate.' Never let others dullness tarnish you, sister. You just keep reaching higher. Have zero shame for living the life you please. You can never be wrong with the right people. Those that really love you, support your growth. Oh, and to the ones that use religion in the name of judging others choices that support their own freedom… so faded!


For my solar return this year, I have chosen to gift myself with a Dark room with no light, no sound for 5 days…Why you might ask? Well, to explore my own subconscious more deeply. I have sat in silence for 10 day retreats for over 30 years now and am ready to go deeper. One of my biggest fears is spiders. I have come to realize that my mother (whom I’m estranged from) spirit animal is likely the spider. When I was thinking of what I was most afraid of as I approach this sabbatical, I thought about spiders, as in essence I am going into ‘their’ environment. Instead of carrying fear into the dark, I am consciously wrapping myself in a layer of protection supported by love for the spirit (*not the personality I have had conflict with) with the confirmation I am whole, loved, and supported by a power much greater than this human experience. I affirm my belief in a friendly Universe, despite cultural ignorance and in this higher knowing I remember—I am Light! So, let’s own it.


Shine on friends!




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